I’ve been experiencing waves of grief, missing my mother the last few days. It was a little bewildering. Then, I realized I’m passing through the beginning of the season of anniversaries leading up to her death.

She passed away on August 23rd, 2012. One of those that didn’t make it through that tumultuous year. You probably know a few. Seemed like every few weeks I spoke to someone who’d just lost a loved one.

Her passing didn’t come out of the blue, though. Not really.

She moved to Portland from Northern California the day before her 76th birthday, on April 5th. Three years and a week ago, now. It was not an easy time. Moving never is, granted. But, at 76 years old, uprooting is extremely taxing. She was understandably anxious.

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It’s Easter. It’s my birthday week. It was a full moon lunar eclipse.

I’m an Aries who usually starts announcing her birthday at least a month before it arrives. Not this year. I took myself to the beach. Solo. Batteries in serious need of recharging.

In January I had experimented with some foods that I’ve been avoiding for many years. A bit of honey here and there. Some 90% chocolate (read “10% sugar”). Yams. Even some … potatoes. Non-GMO corn chips.

I just kept thinking, “Damn it, I’ve been such a good girl for so long, surely I’ve healed enough to be able to tolerate a few more foods! I deserve this!”

It became evident in February that I was in an autoimmune and yeast flare. Fatigue, foggy head, body aches. And, fatigue. Really tired.

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