I hear it often. “I want to do more in my life. I want to go deeper. But, when I try, I end up feeling overwhelmed and I can’t do anything!”

Whether you have a diagnosis or not, often our expectations and desires are more than our bodies can live up to. You’ve probably heard the saying, “Your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash!” (Originally from the film Top Gun.)

When you live with a health challenge, or are grieving a loss, things are different than for most of the people you know who have busy lives and seem to keep up just fine. Yes, acceptance of that fact is a good thing to aspire to. But, “acceptance” often ends up looking like a kind of dreary resignation when it’s on the ground running. Where’s the joy in that?

Our beloved Nuit, a 15 year old kitty, died a couple of weeks ago. She was not a flashy, smart, energetic cat. She was sweet, compliant, sometimes grumpy, and full of purrs when she was snuggled. And, she had a few chronic health conditions. Her thyroid was over active, she had arthritis in her shoulders, she had high blood pressure (probably related to her thyroid condition). And, more recently, something was putting pressure on her lungs, probably either a mass or fluid build up around her heart. In the end, her breathing pattern was more like panting than anything.
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Ahhh, summer winding down. I just returned from a blissful and much needed 2 weeks of relaxation on Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire, after working quite a bit harder than I could really handle gracefully for a number of weeks.

I wish I could say that my self-care is always perfect, but I’d be lying through my teeth. Sometimes, life demands what it demands, and the best I can do is surrender to what needs to be done. Goddess Gather was a great success, and I have no regrets. But, my health is still too fragile to support the kind of hard work required to put on an event of the scope and complexity of the vision we hold for the Gather.
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It’s Easter. It’s my birthday week. It was a full moon lunar eclipse.

I’m an Aries who usually starts announcing her birthday at least a month before it arrives. Not this year. I took myself to the beach. Solo. Batteries in serious need of recharging.

In January I had experimented with some foods that I’ve been avoiding for many years. A bit of honey here and there. Some 90% chocolate (read “10% sugar”). Yams. Even some … potatoes. Non-GMO corn chips.

I just kept thinking, “Damn it, I’ve been such a good girl for so long, surely I’ve healed enough to be able to tolerate a few more foods! I deserve this!”

It became evident in February that I was in an autoimmune and yeast flare. Fatigue, foggy head, body aches. And, fatigue. Really tired.

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This is an edited post from January 7^th, 2014. I’ve deepened my understanding of the Twelve Holy Days. May you find value in this exploration of an age-old spiritual tradition.

It’s winter for real, now. The light may be returning after Solstice, but for most of us the air is cold and it’s more comfortable indoors. Or maybe under the covers.

Today is Christmas. I’m not particularly Christian, but I find value in many symbols from many different spiritual traditions. Tomorrow begins the Twelve Holy Days.

Solstice, December 21st, marks the moment in the northern hemisphere when the day is shortest, the longest night. The tightest contraction, if you will. There’s a span of time where things stop. The days aren’t immediately longer. There’s a resting. When early Christians chose the 25th of December as the birthday of the Christ, they did so for a reason. This is when we begin to experience movement again, just the inkling of expansion. The Sun appears again.

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In our 30 years each of seeking, sitting, studying and experiencing depth initiations, my husband, Tom, and I realized there are recognizable patterns in most spiritual practices and resulting changes in the human experience. Adopting a practice changes you. It brings what is true in your experience to light. It will help change patterns that no longer serve.

We have synthesized the practices we have studied, practiced, and now teach into a body of work we call Direct Access Techniques™.

Our in-person Spiritual Practices 101 workshop was a great success and we are very proud of what we put together. We are excited to bring it to you as a home study course! We recorded the guided meditations, and compiled the teaching and discussion points into a workbook. The workbook includes an overview of categories, styles and purposes of practices in an accessible format so that you understand why you would take on one practice over another in any given time. We provide online support to help you establish a practice and receive answers to your questions as you do so.

Recently I realized there was an ingredient in my own process that I have not always included in my private work with clients. Meditation. Many of the techniques I use are spiritual practices, but if the mind hasn’t learned to steady itself a bit, it can be very difficult to remember even the intention to practice. It is important to begin with the simplest, and most powerful form – concentration on the breath to steady attention, opening into mindfulness of the present moment.

A local psychotherapist and meditation teacher once told me he tells his new clients, “You can take on a meditation practice and we’ll be done with therapy in 3 – 6 months, or you can not meditate and we’ll be done in 3 years. Your choice.”

Taking on a meditation practice is a gift of great kindness to yourself. You may think you don’t have time, or it’s “too out there” to meditate, or you’ve “tried it and can’t do it”. With all the research that shows the benefits of taking on a regular practice, it is well worth questioning those thoughts that prevent you from committing to this simple form of self-care.

There are very real physiological benefits of practice. Research suggests that the following conditions can benefit from taking on a regular practice:

• Anxiety disorders
• Asthma
• Cancer
• Depression
• Heart disease
• High blood pressure
• Pain
• Sleep problems

Do you experience any of these? And, do you notice that these are the ills that we associate with the modern world?

Here’s something most of us don’t understand when we first receive meditation instruction. You can’t do it wrong. It breaks my heart when I hear someone say, “I tried meditation, and I just can’t do it.” This is simply the voice of the Inner Critic sabotaging your efforts toward self-care.

We will continue to record the guided meditations in our ongoing classes and add workbooks to further develop this body of work, adding new home study courses. The Spiritual Practices 101 is the foundation upon which it all rests, and will be a prerequisite for any future in person or home study modules.

We are excited to share this with you!

To register for either course, email Durga@DurgaFuller.com and I’ll walk you through the process.

Blessings!

It’s been awhile since I posted a recipe – I assure you I still love to cook! And, we still have food sensitivities in our house.

I thought I had created a brand new recipe, but people have been comparing this one to Panna Cotta, so I guess I’m channeling something from a past life in Italy. I’ve never eaten Panna Cotta, and barely heard of it before. There you go. This one is dairy and sugar-free, so most of us can eat it. I made it with bananas for my eldest who is sensitive to berries of all kinds, and he gave it the thumbs up.

For a true Panna Cotta you could gel the coconut cream alone and top it with the fruit afterward, but I would recommend using fresh berries then. And, truly, the huge benefit of making this the way I have it outlined is how quick it is. Pouring the warm coconut-gelatin mixture over frozen blueberries is shear genius – the gelatin sets up in minutes! Quick, delicious and healthy.

Enjoy.

Blueberry-Coconut Panna Cotta

2 cup coconut cream (I use Aroy-D and LOVE it) or coconut milk

2 tsp gelatin powder, preferably Great Lakes or Jensen brand

a pinch Celtic sea salt

20 or so drops of vanilla or plain Stevia extract

enough frozen blueberries to fill 5 – 8 ramekins, depending on their size

Directions
Sprinkle the gelatin over the room temperature coconut cream or milk and let sit till it “blooms” – meaning it absorbs enough liquid for it all to look wet. It will expand a bit.

Heat the coconut cream or milk and gelatin until almost bubbling.

Mix the hot coconut cream mixture, stevia and sea salt and stir until smooth.

Pour into blueberry filled ramekins until full. Refrigerate until set. Which, if you use frozen bluebs, won’t take long at all.

Great for a quick dessert – and if you make a few extra ramekins they’re a delicious breakfast, too!